Say it loud
Black and Proud
Ain’t no time to hesitate at the gate
Do it now!
-Mos Def & Busta Rhymes, “Do It Now” from Black on Both Sides
Everyone is in a rush nowadays. Self-help authors usually tell you that if you’re not chasing your dreams now, then you’re doing something wrong. While in most cases I’d be inclined to agree with them, I’ve learned that some things in life can’t be rushed. You wouldn’t tell a beginning skier to attempt a black diamond on the first day would you? Of course not, he needs to build his confidence, his skills, and gain the experience required that will keep him alive! First things first. Before you walk, you must learn to crawl. Before you can run, you must learn to walk. Before you can do something more complicated than running (skipping? hurdling?) you must have the foundation - that is, all the basic skills mastered in order to combine them all together into a complex, beautiful display of grace and athleticism. I’ve found that sometimes in life, achieving a goal can be the same way.
In my experience, the advice of jumping full-on into things doesn’t always makes sense. You’ve heard the advice, “Fake it til you make it”. Well, sometimes you simply can’t hide the fact that you’re not ready. Your lack of confidence and experience literally limits what you can do. When I hear the advice that you should just disregard every warning sign in your body and “go for it”, no matter how foolish or devastating the decision may be, I cringe a little inside, because this is truly the kind of bad advice that inspires me to write my own self-help articles. Why is this advice bad? For one thing, applying the philosophy of “do it now” to every situation is a recipe for disaster. You wouldn’t rush someone into lifting a heavy weight in the gym or running a sprint. Not only do they need to be at a high enough level to successfully perform those feats without hurting themselves, but they need to be in the proper state of mind as well. They need to be focused and ready to concentrate their efforts. Like sports, much of our pursuits in life are the same way. Before you build a house, you must lay out the blueprint, planning carefully each detail. You must secure the contractors and equipment. You must make sure all legal issues are taken care of lest you get halfway through and find out all your efforts were for naught.
I’ve had numerous turning points in my life, and although I can’t remember them all, I do know that they didn’t just “happen” one day after reading someone’s advice to “just do it”. See, that’s all an author can say - “just do it”. That’s all the power he has. It’s not in his power to give you inner strength, courage, experience, or skill - all qualities that matter and which you sometimes need in order to even begin your journey. Some turning points came only after I experienced something that greatly affected me, whether this experience was the ending of a relationship, feeling humiliated, a sense of tremendous pride and accomplishment, or just plain being fed up with what my life was like. Some turning points came randomly - at a time that I couldn’t have known or predicted. These sources of resolve and energy were inside of me but only came out when they chose to. And finally, some of my turning points have simply been a long time building - feelings that, while I wasn’t ready to yet express or unleash, grew stronger and stronger over time until one day they came out and my mindset and attitude were suddenly reversed 180 degrees.
The chances are, after reading any inspiring self-help column or story, that you still won’t be ready to do a 180 and turn your life around. You might know that you want to, but the timing might be off and forcing it just isn’t a possibility. I don’t expect people to suddenly turn into success-generating machines from reading an article. No, life doesn’t work like that. It takes time. Sometimes it takes years. Take this website for example. I’ve entertained the idea on and off for several years now of writing self-help articles. I attempted to write some articles a few times the past several years but something never felt right. What exactly was off? I don’t know, but I do know that in these past 3 days, all these thoughts and ideas that have been generating for several years have come rushing out like a flood, and I haven’t been able to put my thoughts down on paper fast enough. Success can be a mystery like that.
So what really is the point? Should you just wait around for success to come? For that inner strength to come out? No, I don’t think you should wait, but I don’t necessarily expect you to succeed now either. Do it when the time is right, when it feels right. First things first - sometimes success is not possible without spending the time to build up all the small skills. Part of the process in getting there is to start developing that resolve and those feelings in the first place, and part of getting that stew ready is to begin stirring it and tasting it, even if its not ready yet. Sometimes you need to let your resolve stew a little longer, until the timing is just right for you to be unleashed on the world.