Had to play with fire and get burned
Only way the boy ever gon’ learn
Had to lay way in the cut, ’til I finally got my turn
Now I’m on top in the spot that I earned..
-Jay-Z, “My First Song”, from The Black Album
What is a shared experience that most champions have in common? Believe it or not, it’s not winning. In fact, I would venture to say that in order to become a champion, you must have failed more often than your competitors. That is to say, you’ve summoned the courage to try things they haven’t tried, and you fail more often precisely because you attempt harder things than they do. Failure isn’t necessarily a bad thing, which is hard for many of us to accept because this isn’t intuitive at first. Failing means you didn’t succeed. How then could it not be a bad thing? In order to understand this, we must take a step back and examine the bigger picture.
Most veteran athletes understand that in order to eventually become a champion, sometimes you must get close enough only to fall short. These are the teams or athletes that finish in second or third place, and are promptly forgotten. They fell short of being #1 for whatever reason. Maybe they didn’t have enough experience. Maybe they just had a bad day, maybe they just got unlucky. Whatever the case, sometimes it takes failure in order to sharpen your resolve and to build the strength necessary to persevere the next time around. The first time you’re in an NBA championship, you might feel lucky just to be there – hell you might even expect to lose. You don’t have the resolve or strength yet to understand the implications of what you’re up against. The odds are stacked against you and falling short is likely. At a high enough stage, the game is purely mental. Whichever team or athlete is mentally stronger will emerge triumphant.
Trying and failing is all part of paying your dues or learning the ropes, so to speak. Success often doesn’t come naturally. Sometimes it takes years of failing and getting up again to build the character and gain the experience required to break through and reach our goals. This is why successful people say they’ve tried and failed so many times, which is why they eventually succeeded. Without going through the failures, they would never have learned or grown. They take more risks and more attempts than anyone else. Although they will fail more, they get valuable feedback on each of their attempts. They’re not afraid of falling short and looking stupid. Because of this, they will eventually surpass everyone else. Read my column You Need to Shoot In Order To Score, for a discussion about why its important to get instant feedback on your attempts.
You might not find success in everything you try, and I’m not here to tell you that you will. The truth is, if what you attempt is as crazy and ground-breaking as I hope it is, then you’re not likely to succeed the first time. That’s natural and just part of life. You might not ever make it, but you certainly won’t make it if you don’t try.