We’ve all experienced it before: The first time we attempt to accomplish something ends in failure. And the second time. And the third. It’s not until that 10th or 11th try that we finally end up breaking through whatever barrier or obstacle was holding us back and emerge victorious. From that point on, success only gets easier and easier and starts to come more naturally.
The first time is always the hardest, and that’s what we’ll devote this column to addressing.
It’s important to understand this concept, because otherwise we might be tempted to give up on that 9th try and conclude that what we’re doing simply is impossible or too difficult. I know I’ve done this many times myself - because I’ve failed the first 9 times, I conclude that I simply don’t have the talent or what it takes to succeed. I don’t know how many times I started my first web application only to throw my hands up in frustration and decide that whatever it was that programmers had, I simply didn’t possess. The truth is that the first time you try to accomplish something new, not only do you lack experience, but you also lack memory of whatever it is you’re attempting to do. Memory can be two kinds - muscle memory and mind memory. Weightlifters and athletes should recognize muscle memory, which is when your muscles remember how to perform a certain action after you’ve done it enough times. Muscle memory is crucial to an athlete’s success, because if your muscles are attempting to do something for the very first time - whether its taking a 3-point-shot, swinging a bat, or lifting a weight, your muscles are likely to fail you because they haven’t performed that action enough times yet to have any memory of how it should be done properly.
Mind memory is the other kind of memory that we’re interested in, and which we’ll define as the memory our brain retains after performing some mental task enough times. Why is mind memory important? Because mind memory is what is retained after you succeed at a task. If you’ve failed 9 times, your mind still doesn’t know that it can succeed. You might believe that you can, but you still don’t know for sure. Its not until you finally succeed that your conception of what you are capable of changes, and your mind remembers what is possible.
I don’t want to confuse you too much with terminology. The important point to realize here is that until you do something for the first time, you shouldn’t necessarily conclude that its not possible for you to succeed. You have to shoulder on, give it a try, and dive in. Learn to persevere. The first time is the hardest, but once you succeed, success comes easier and easier. Read my article Trial by Fire for more discussion about how going through obstacles and struggling prepares you for eventual success.