Haters Never Win

Yung’uns ice-grillin me, ohh - you not feelin me?
Fine; it cost you nothin - pay me no mind
Look, I’m on my grind cousin, ain’t got time for frontin
Sensitive thugs, y’all all need hugs
-Jay-Z, “Heart of the City” (Ain’t no love) from The Blueprint

One of the qualities I respect and believe in the most is the attitude of a winner. Over the years I’ve learned to recognize the language that winners use, which is very different from the language that losers use. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people who hate on others, whether their target be a group, person, socio-economic class, or even the government - tend to be losers. Is it losing that drives them to hate? Or is it the act of hating which destines them to be failures? Perhaps it’s a bit of both, a vicious self-reinforcing cycle that constantly feeds itself. Either way, one thing is for sure: if you want to be successful, you won’t get there by being a hater.

Haters, because of the very nature of hate itself, give all the power to others. It’s always his fault, it’s their fault, if only they had done this, and so on. You have no power when you hate. There is no positive outcome that can come from hate. It is not proactive - it’s reactive. While you can dislike people for many reasons, actually taking the effort to decide to hate is another thing altogether. It’s natural to dislike some people, just like some people are bound to dislike you. But to hate? That takes effort, thought, and energy - energy that could be used to focus on winning.

Winners never bother to hate because they understand that there’s no point to hating. Rather than focusing on how much they hate someone, they focus on bettering themselves and improving. There simply is no energy left to give to hatred: they’ve used it all up already in order to be successful.

Is there a reason to hate winners? I admit that there could be. Winners are almost always controversial, due to their status in society. Every action they take is scrutinized, and they’re frequently held up to higher standards than the rest of the population. But part of the reason they’re controversial is also because in order to be great, they had to make choices that were controversial. Winning, contrary to what many would like to believe, isn’t easy. In fact, at times it can be downright dirty. Most people aren’t willing to recognize this fact because they like to think that winners are successful because of some natural talent or because they were born with a silver spoon. This absolves themselves of personal responsibility and makes them feel better about not being a winner. No, winners are there because they are willing to do what it takes: both the easy and the dirty work.

Take Jay-Z and Bill Gates. Two of the most controversial figures in our society, and also two of the biggest winners we will ever see in our lifetime. Jay-Z, like many other artists who seek fame and success, has been criticized for “selling out”, that is, from wikipedia: compromising one’s integrity, morality and principles in exchange for money, ’success’ (however defined) or other personal gain. What was Jay-Z’s response to this? From “Moment of Clarity” off The Black Album:

And the music I be making
I dumb down for my audience
And double my dollars
They criticize me for it
Yet they all yell “Holla”

and

We as rappers must decide what’s most important
And I can’t help the poor if I’m one of them
So I got rich and gave back
To me that’s the win, win

Jay-Z admits to pretty much selling out and doing what it takes in order to be successful. That’s a highly controversial move, and many artists (and fans) have a problem with that. However, Jay-Z did what he had to do in order to reach his goal, which was to be rich and dominate the rap game - the “art” to him was secondary. He didn’t try to hide who he was or what he did, and he later says that if given another chance, he’d do it all again. If you’re an artist and your goal is to only create great works of art, then do whatever it takes to reach that goal (which probably means never selling out). But if you’re a businessman and an artist second, and your goal is to make millions, then do what it takes to reach that goal, even if it means selling out.

Bill Gates is another example of someone who was willing to play a bit dirty in order to get where he is currently at. While I don’t advocate dirty play or cheating of any form, I do admire competitors who utilize whatever they can to get ahead of everyone else. That’s human and that’s what winners do. You need a bit of a mean streak in order to be on top. It’s a harsh world and someone is always looking to knock you off the top of the hill. And so winners come under fire for making the tough decisions. But they aren’t the ones living in obscurity, questioning the actions of someone who did have the courage to make a tough decision and found success as a result. Winners are never the ones on the sideline, hating on others who had the balls to be successful.

Decide what your goal is, what you want to accomplish, then figure out what it takes to get there, and then do it. Anything else is just an excuse. If you aren’t willing to put in the work necessary to get there, then you can’t hate on those who are. You didn’t want it bad enough, or else you’d be the one doing whatever it took. I’m not saying that it’s shameful or bad if you don’t care about riches or power. Some just want to live an easy life, enjoying simple pleasures without much stress or hassle. If that’s what you want to do, then do it. I admire and respect people who have the conviction to live the life they want to live. But don’t tell me that you don’t care about success or winning and then turn around and start hating the successful who do what you’re not willing to do. More often than not, haters are only lying to themselves about what they want. They’re not willing to accept the fact that they want to be a winner but just don’t have the conviction to follow through. So they deceive themselves into thinking that they don’t really want success, but they can’t hide their jealousy and bitterness.

If you want to be among the very, very best (and I’m talking top 1% here, the elite of the elite), you’re going to face controversy of some kind. It’s inevitable. People are going to hate you for no other reason that you’re successful and they’re not. But you’re there because you made tough choices, did what you had to do to win.  Don’t hate those that have the courage and resolve to actually do the dirty work. Either find the courage to join them at the top, or keep your mouth shut. Hating will never get you anywhere.