My teenage years, like those of many adolescents, were harsh and filled with experiences that I’d like to forget. I especially remember having trouble in high school during my junior and senior years. Not only did I become overweight, but I also struggled with concentrating on my schoolwork, getting enough sleep at night, and balancing the pressures of scoring high grades and the expectations of college with how I really felt inside about what I wanted to do with my life. Looking back on it all now, with the experience I have and the knowledge of myself that I’ve gained, I now understand why those things didn’t make intuitive sense to me as a teenager and why those things still don’t make sense to me now as an adult.
It’s a tragedy that millions of kids nationwide are subjected to the rules of poorly-designed systems that frankly, don’t make any sense. I remember having trouble waking up for school which started at 7:45am. For some kids, this meant waking up at 6am or earlier in order to make it to school on time. I remember struggling, daily, with waking up so early. My body simply wasn’t ready to go to bed at night until 1 or 2 am, and wasn’t ready to wake up until 9 or 10am. What felt natural and healthy to me was simply unacceptable to the system I was in. But what choice did I have? I struggled through the system, never fully understanding why I couldn’t thrive and succeed doing what my peers were doing.
In College, life got better. With the exception of early morning classes, the freedom of waking up when I wanted to made me a healthier, happier, and more productive person. I was now in a system which fit my habits better. I’m a very free-spirited person – fitting my life into a rigid schedule is like making a penguin live in the forest: I can’t thrive if I’m not in a system that fits my strengths.
There are numerous examples of this in life. Whether the system is a kind of relationship, a sports team, a team within an organization, or even a college major program or professional career: the fundamental principle holds true that the environment you function in plays a large role in your success or failure.
So what are you to do? Well, if you are currently floundering in a system which doesn’t fit you, first examine whether the problem is the system or if the problem is you. Some people don’t fit in any system because they’re negative, overly-critical, and plain jerks who can’t get along with anybody. If you find that the problem does lie within the system, the next step is to figure out what kind of system you do thrive in. What would this environment be like? Use your imagination. Who would be your coworkers? What kind of qualities would they possess? What would your day look like? What would your “office” or place of work look like? And perhaps most importantly of all, what ideas or talents do you have to contribute that will add something to the world?
My experiences led to the realization of several facts about myself:
- I didn’t want to work for someone else
- I wanted my ideas to be my own; I wanted credit for these ideas
- I wanted to work on my own ideas
- I didn’t want to work on someone else’s vision
- I didn’t work well in a structured environment
To any business, I would be seen as a mediocre or bad employee, and in retrospect, I admit that this could have been true. But being a mediocre employee is not necessarily a bad thing. While I was always professional, I knew inside that it was only a matter of time before I gathered the strength, skills, and experience to move on. I knew what kind of life I wanted, and what kind of environment I could thrive in. But I only realized these things after working and experiencing the 9-5 system. Some may understand at a very early age what kind of system they want to be in, and others may take some time to figure it out like I did. Either way, if you’re not currently thriving and don’t understand why, then you have some thinking to do.
Read my followup article: Listening to Your Intuition for more insights about using your intuition to be successful.